* Being left at a young age to care for oneself, a parent, or other siblings. When we are deeply wounded at a young age, we cannot handle the pain, so we find ways to dissociate from the intense feelings. Then, later in life, especially when we fall in love, these old wounds can get activated. Our beloved gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, says mean things, doesn't tell the truth, doesn't stand up for us, comes home late, wanders away in a crowded public place, misunderstands us, and so on - and suddenly the pain that has been pushed aside all these years comes roaring to the surface. " -Jo Berry, author Years ago, in Los Angeles, California, I heard Jo Berry speak about how to get rid of a bad habit. Jo asked her audience, "How long have you thought about giving up this habit? Has it done any good to just think about it?" At the time, I had thought and thought about quiting smoking. Many of us get so emotional with the speeches that we get fooled. What of education? The formal education promises us so many things. Each student thinks that he/she will learn something great while getting a degree. Is it really so? Does that happen? In the name of formal education, most of us lose our original thinking and try to learn all those things that are written by those who never received formal education. People who are more relaxed have fewer problems with their memories and are more likely to take the bumps in the road of life in stride. The practice of meditation has gained popularity for this reason. You might want to look into Tai Chi, which involves physical relaxation techniques. Whatever method you decide on, take relaxation seriously. Let them know that there is NO such thing as a dumb question and that the ONLY stupid questions are the ones not asked. 2. Tell them that they can discuss questions offline if they are not comfortable asking a question in front of others. 3. If someone asks a great question, acknowledge him or her right away. Most of the times the thought that enter his/her mind are negative and such a person only thinks of defeat. Not many friends will find time regularly to meet him/her and give a pep talk. Most of the times such people are on their own. When they watch Inspirational screensavers, they read the message again and again and that message fights their negativity.
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